102. Apparently while under a tsunami warning do not run for the hills. This may lead to you falling down a mine shaft which may cause you to need the water to swim your way out. Best option, get in the boat.
103. Going down under also makes you dyslexic, for example; Rick King is really Ken Ring... I blame the automatic bug spray.
104. Don’t let the students know about your bug phobia as they will catch them to place on your things to see you scream.
105. When in New Zealand, you may find yourself in talks about the benefits of marijuana use with the other teachers.
106. When you are attempting to steal your students dog, it is always polite to ask permission from their mothers. “Hello, Mrs. Connor’s Mom”
107. When sliding down the walls in the classrooms, beware of carpet burn.
108. Bulky students are not allowed to be hippies.
109. When you breed a shih tzu with a bull dog, you get “a bulls**t.”
110. When traveling with Janna you will come to realize very quickly that it’s normal for her to trip over her own shadow, or anything really.
111. Kiwi Teaching Tip: When Sue (the English teacher) is wanting to see if her students are paying attention, causally wonder out loud what’s on the other side of the truck that has naked backsides on the side you can see.
112. Don’t be surprised when the students who look like the wolves from Twilight start talking about how much they love Twilight.
113. When trying to convince the students to perform their dance piece, singing Lester the Lobster, complete with actions, can only help them realize they will not be the ones who will be making fools of themselves.
114. Don’t be surprised to find the garbage man going through your garbage before he picks it up. Yes, he made the sausages.
115. It will take you about 3 weeks to get the secretaries little girl to talk to you and when she finally does, don’t be surprised that it’s in Maori.
116. Yes folks, Pauly D lookalikes exist even in New Zealand.
117. When you’re warned that there are hills in Auckland. Take that warning seriously.
118. Don’t go to the rugby store to ask for information about cricket, they don’t know anything about it either.
119. Even the birds in New Zealand like to join you for a cup a coffee in Starbucks. Don’t worry they only go after your left overs.
120. In New Zealand there is assigned seating at the movie theaters. Don’t take too long picking your seats though or you may find yourself getting very familiar with the ticketing process as it will reset on you after about 5 seconds.
121. Late nights in Auckland bring out the people wearing chicken suits while early mornings brings out the giant plugs.
122. Don’t expect to sit down and eat at Pizza Hut as it’s nothing more then a whole in the wall. If you’re really tired of walking the hill though you may find yourself in the corner eating in the takeaway Pizza Hut.
123. Even all the way down under, your ex boyfriends come back to haunt you.
124. If you have flat feel like Holly, go to Kelly Tarltons to find shoes, the penguins have a wide selection.
125. Allowing strangers to take your picture at the Sky Tower may result in multiple chins and a close up of your nose hair.
126. The people in New Zealand are so nice that they will offer to lend you a car while you’re here. If you have trouble walking however for the safety of yourself and others, politely decline.
127. Don’t be surprised when the teachers start fighting over who gets to take you where. This is what happens when you become a communities entertainment.
128. Students will enjoy suggesting things for you to see and do. Beware, accents may distort suggestions making you believe you can go bowling in the zoo.
129. Who knew our students also shared our love of impromptu dance parties. As well as teaching you new moves to use for entertaining people in the park. That’s what happens when we co-teach a class.
130. You know you’re apart of the town when the locals start referring to you as the teacher at the Manaia School... We’ve already been initiated into the community, why leave?
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