Holly and Janna’s Travel Tips

While sitting in LAX airport for many, many hours without any internet connection and practically no sleep, we started writing a list of things we have encountered or learned on our multi-day no sleep journey to Kiwi Land.

1. When you are sleepy, you start seeing people you know. Do not approach them, chances are you don’t actually know them. Unless it’s Sharon.
2. Do not panic when flying out in a snowstorm, that is why they invented deicers.
3. Bail money comes in handy.
4. It is not wise to get angry at customs when they are not efficient... May result in needing bail money.
5. If you have to sit near the airplane bathrooms, make sure to bring a scarf.
6. Do not give money to solicitors.
7. Please maintain visual contact with personal items at all times.
8. When you can’t find Starbucks, go downstairs.
9. You can always get to the other side, just go downstairs.
10. When in doubt, go downstairs.
11. When bored, make lists. Much more fun then doing school work.
12. Always have a “pin”
13. Make sure to weigh carry on before leaving the first airport. Not doing so may create panic later.
14. Don’t expect anyone to check the weight of your carry on.
15. Be careful when flying with maple fudge... May get confused with cocaine... May result in needing bail money.
16. Do not cross the highway in large airports... May result in needing to use bail money.
17. Caution: when wearing flip flops you may have to go through security in your bare feet. (exception to rule - when wearing socks and sandals, this should result in needing bail money)
18. LA LA land is going through construction to create some Oh LA LA.
19. When starting to smell, report to duty free.
20. Staring at people makes them feel uncomfortable.
21. Always pick up your Chili’s wrap with a fork.
22. May get chilly at Chili’s, make sure to bring warm clothes.
23. Impromptu dance parties and bursts of song in the airport are always appropriate.
24. Wear shoes rather then tripping over them.
25. Always fall when no one is looking, it creates more panic when they finally notice (x2).
26. Vladimir is just as important as Cher and Madonna... Maybe even more important.
27. When you see balloons and people in suits, check for Kobe Bryant.
28. Warning: after 19 hours of travel, cut outs may seem real.
29. Warning: when checking in bags, it may not happen like “Bam bam bam badda boom” - Vladimir aka Gladimir
30. Do not let Gladimir on the loud speaker, aka Vladimir.
31. If your number has not been called or you are not in the group, don’t get up.
32. When you’re not sure what day it is anymore, chances are it is still the same day as when you started.
33. When you find you are having a laps in memory, chances are you’re sleeping with your eyes open.
34. Ignore tip number 14, turns out they DO check the weight of your carry on.
35. Ignore tip number 34, they lie.
36. Punching the inside of the window does not clear the outside of the window and may cause hand pain.
37. When you’re cold, pull your pants down.
38. Even a butter knife may be dangerous during turbulence.

Don't worry, this is not the end of Holly and Janna's travel tips. There are many more to come once Kiwi Land has been reached tips 1-38 take us through Charlottetown to the plane leaving LA.

If you have become a fan of Holly and Janna's travel tips, believe me, the best is yet to come.

To Be Continued...